


cerise

by Parizaad (orphan_account)



Category: Naruto
Genre: ( some weird ass cheesy lines bc i did not find it in myself to remove them), Angst, F/F, F/M, M/M, Unrequited Love, Valley of the End
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 01:44:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11704221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Parizaad
Summary: Hashirama does not love Mito back.





	cerise

**Author's Note:**

> Alrighty, so this was my first ever fanfiction written in the Naruto fandom. It is originally multichaptered and posted on ff.net, but here, I've tried to polish it. I do hope you enjoy it, and if you do, please do tell me what you think of it!

_Senju Hashirama._

Mito's pale fingers comb through her bright, cherry red hair. She sits drawn to herself, in her lone room with the sliding doors open, just a fraction and a passerby would see her, looking down into the mirror clutched in her hand, resting on her tigh, her hair falling over her face. The night is young and cool against her skin yet her skin burns at the thought of him. 

_Shodai Hokage._

She glances at the mirror in her hand again. There is no mistake in the bloom of red on her cheeks. She remembers his deep, kind voice. The pleasant tan on his skin, his laughing dark eyes and—

 _God of Shinobi,_ they call him.

With a sharp intake of breath she sets the mirror aside with a clatter. Mito slams the sliding door shut and throws herself on her futon. She stares at the ceiling, her heart hammering and her body tingling. She is Uzumaki Mito. She should not—scratch that, is not—

She presses her face deep into the pillow and sighs. Why not? Why ever not?

It may be just a catalyst to further the bond between Uzushiogakure and Konohagakure. Between Uzumaki and Senju. But really isn't this between her and Hashirama in the end? Doesn't it narrow down to that single private union?

_Mito's fiancé._

Mito smiles into the pillow, pressing it close to her body. For years she had suppressed her desires and wishes. Now, she was going to have something, maybe she had desired it from afar and she doesn't know about him : but enough to know that he is kind, the kindest of men she has ever seen, of the nin she had seen. Was it so wrong to allow herself even this little thing?

Senju Hashirama. Shodai Hokage-sama. God of Shinobi.

Her future husband.

 

-

 

Uzumaki Mito was, since she was just a girl, praised of her composure and calm. Her serenity and wisdom was beyond her years. She made sure the people of Uzushiogakure knew that she was no ordinary girl. She was an able kunoichi. She was the daughter of the leader of the Uzushiogakure, her kaa-san had never failed her people and neither would she. There was absolutely no doubt that she would do anything for her people and her village.

However, she was also, _'uptight'_ , _'Uzumaki princess brat'_ , and on the general consensus of the male populace, _'too lanky a chick'._

She was caught between a responsibility she embraced and the life of a normal teenager. Then again, she had accepted what was to become of her, it was either her youth or the youth of millions of others that depended on her. It wasn't much of a choice, really. And so most of her time was spent hunched over scrolls of seals, inhaling dust and the scent of ink. Her chakra was powerful, even for an Uzumaki and she very well knew of it. Kaa-san always did tell her, that it did not matter what others might say so, she will play a big part for her people and she was content, _honored_ , with the duty.

She had few a friends, and all of them, she knew, hated her behind her back. Girls with pretty hair and lovely, clever words, and daughters of nobles or well known kunoichis. Where the rest of the world had women as something reduced to produce able nin children, Uzushiogakure had it’s women _be_ the able nin. Enemies, she had many, rivals too. Maybe they weren't friends after all.

Kunoichi was a woman who didn't have time to be a woman. They were a rarity and even a slight weakness, a tear, a tremble and they were all disgrace and simply, _'ah, a woman'._ No, she didn't have time for that.

 

-

 

Mito did, sometimes, crave the idle touches girls and boys shared. Smiles and kisses. Secret meetings by the river, letters dabbed with perfume, the hazy look of love she had seen often. She wished too, to share stories of how _he told her she was beautiful_ and that _they hand hands_ , and _she kissed her underneath the fireworks, did you hear?_

Once there was a girl, a maid from the land of Rain, she had fleetingly kissed. The girl had kissed her back, she had been eager and yet, the other day she wouldnt look at Mito. How once, later in her teenage years, she had secretly, cried. Deep in the compound, buried in scrolls, her hands trembling when the boy she had watched from afar, deep in the forests after training, hold another in his arms. She never did tell him how she liked his choppy red hair and how she loved the furrow of his thin brow when he yanked the fishing rod back and the happiness in his wild gray eyes when he had caught one. He never knew that she had lain awake on warm nights, convincing herself to _talk to him, dammit!_

"Mito." It had been her mother, standing at the entrance of her room that day, the warm glow of the kerosene making her thin, sharp features dance across the smooth plain of her pale face. "Kaa-saan." She had wiped her face with the back of her hands and tumbled up, her eyes cast down.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Come with me." With a moment of heavy pause, she turned. It was an order. Mito took a deep breath and followed her. What was done was done, she knew must not worsen it.

She followed her wordlessly through the long corridors and into Kaa-saan's room. Her mother had seated herself and gestured for her to take her place beside her. Mito did, and she did not look up or give excuses. Lady Uzumaki did not take excuses well.

"You have been taught that a nin must never display her emotions." A pause. "Emotions, whims and feeling are a luxury for the weak to show. Nobody will recognize you until you master to keep them in check. Tears, are pathetic."

Mito winced. "Yes, kaa-saan."

"Mito, look at me." Mito raised her eyes to meet her mother's. For a moment she held her dark purple gaze. "However, child…"she reached for Mito's hand and covered it gently with hers and Mito almost jumped out of her skin. "…A nin is also a person, a nin is a human. You will love. Your heart will break. You will feel."

Mito's eyes widened, not knowing what to make of it, she says, hushed "Kaa-san..." 

Her mother smiled. She pulled Mito to her and Mito did not hesitate to throw her arms around her neck. She pressed her check to her mother's collarbone and inhaled gratefully.

"Strength cannot come without love. You must fill yourself with love, my child. You are not made of stone, you silly thing, you are flesh and blood and you bleed and feel pain. Do not be something you cannot. Hatred and un-feeling is the worst of weaknesses. Remember this, Mito. Remember this."

"Yes, kaa-saan." Mito did not properly understand her but she would give anything to be in her mother's arm and she did not care, for once, she was holding her eldest born in her arms and she was not delivering her messages and asking of her training. She was simply holding her.

After that day, she never mooned after anyone, she realized she did not want the heartbreak her kaa-san talked about, maybe that was what it was all about, a warning and she is grateful. She curtly dismissed her 'friends' and she worked harder, more and more and more.

After that, people could tell, they could tell that Uzumaki Mito properly became _Uzumaki_ Mito.

 

-

 

It was proposed to her, over tea a few days earlier, a casual news.

"The Senju clan is willing to further it's bond with the Uzumaki." Her mother sipped her tea whilst examining a messenger scroll.

Mito paused the cup halfway to her lips. "How so?"

"By marriage. Yours with Hokage-sama, Senju Hashirama. I and your father approve, but, of course, if you will agree." A long pause.

Mito's face showed mild surprise, for a second only. Mito remembers the man. She tries not to dwell on his kindness to her and her fellow delegation on their visit to Konohagakure. He's not bad looking either, she had mused, powerful and able enough to be called as the God of Shinobi. An impressive feat for someone so kind and gentle.

She set down her cup. "I agree. When will we journey to Konohagakure?"

Her mother looked at her from the corner of her eyes. "The omiai is tomorrow."

"Perfect."

 

-

 

And so, it was. 

There were two men accompanying Hokage-sama.

His brother, she was later told, Senju Tobirama, with the shock of white hair, narrow intelligent red eyes and the gravity of responsibility to his village and brother stark and clear. The other, she knew, the one reputed to bathe in blood of his enemies, the demon of battle and warfare, and the closest friend and rival of Hokage-sama, Uchiha Madara.

Mito's recognized the contempt in his face for her. In his handsome jaw, proudly clenched and disapproving. His dark gaze, a dangerous scrutiny. Mito respectfully kept her gaze down, she thought it wise not to prod his apparent distaste , but she could not point what she had done to displease Madara-sama so.

The silence seemed to be suffocating. Mito decided she would be a decent woman and not break the silence.

"Mito-san, it is a great honor and…" Hokage-sama begins, and clears his throat awkwardly and looks to his brother.

"For me too, Hokage-sama. I most humbly accept this proposal." She offers helpfully, smiling a little. She wanted this to be over with.

Hashirama blinked at her. Then he smiled awkwardly, "Eh? Sure, sure! Then…"

"We make things official?" Tobirama suggests and graciously nodded at Mito. Hashirama opens his mouth then closes it. Mito cannot help feel something is wrong. Why does Hokage-sama seem so…distant?

Hashirama turns his attention to Mito. "I-It is settled then?" He asks it as a question, not confirming it at all. Mito presses her lips in a thin line, she chides herself, inwardly for her fantasizing last night. It is of course, a marriage of convenience, of diplomatic purposes, and for the Senju bloodline to continue. She composed herself and answers stoically.

"Of course, Hokage-sama."

Mito feels her guards relax behind her.

 

-

 

The wedding is not long after, half a month at least after she has thought of him, in the lonely sequester of her room. When the day finally comes and goes in a blur, Mito awaits Hashirama in their room. It’s the end of the long day, and her blood sings in her veins. She feels nervous for the first time, in the whole ordeal. It is likely that tonight, on the night of their wedding, they will lay together.

She has never done this before and hopes that Hashirama will know what to do. She has heard it hurts especially when done with a man but she has heard of how it causes great pleasure too, _a rush_ one of the girls' explained it in frantic whispers and giggles.

Mito blushes. It is essential for them to have children. It is essential. She chants it, over in her head until it seems natural.

Mito sits and waits patiently for him to come. She waits for him in their room in the Senju compound. She listens to the chimes tinkle against the night's gentle breeze, she listens to the retreating footsteps in the corridor, she feels the slightly unpleasant warmth of the tsunokakusht against her scalp. She keeps on waiting until she feels the low hymn of rejection and anger in her heart.

 

-

 

Yet, she waits, patiently. She waits.

Mito has taken off her tsunokakush and has drawn her knees close to her chest, and she is snoring softly. But she is, at once, alert to the 'shik' of the door sliding open. She senses Hokage-sama's pleasant warm chakra and opens her eyes.

"Hokage-sama." She addresses him curtly.

Hashirama is standing at the doorway, his expression solemn. "Mito, I am so very sorry…"

"It is fine, Hokage-sama. You are here. That is all what matters." She tries to smile. She smoothes her kimono and sits up.

Her heart is in her throat as he closes the door behind him, and crouches in front of her, wordlessly taking her hand and kissing her knuckles gently. It is a warm brush of lips and her body quakes in delight or fright? Which is it? But it robs her out of breath, nevertheless.

He offers her a gentle smile and to her utter confusion, drops her hand and moves beside her and lays down. His eyes are closed.

Mito frowns. So—so—

She frees her long red hair of elaborate pins. She watches him from the corner of her eyes and soon, his chest is rising and falling with the spell of sleep. She lays down beside him, staring at the ceiling. Asking herself if she were really that undesirable of a woman.

That night, Mito does not notice how Hashirama's kimono is slightly displaced. His lips are swollen and bitten. With the scent of sweat and sake, mingles another, a distinct scent, one she will come to recognize soon.

She does not dream in color, that night, like she does usually.

 

 

-

 

Tobirama wakes up in the morning with a splitting headache, sour smelling clothes, _was that sake?_ , and to his absolute horror, his wallet, completely empty, tossed over his chest.

He holds it up, blinks the sleep out of his eyes and groans. What in the world had happened last night?

He sits up, massages his head and calms down. That’s when his stomach lurches and then, came three rounds of puking, hovering over the toilet bowl and much grumbling profanity. His head was hurting badly and he wondered if he should pound Sarutobi Sasuke into the ground for his insistence last night, 'one more shot! It's not every day your brother gets married!'

Tobirama wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and decides he'd ask Hashirama to rid him of this calamity, this cursed headache. Hashirama will—

He frowns.

Hashirama.

 

-

 

Hashirama was nowhere to be seen last night, Tōka reported. Not his room, not the Senju compound, not the Hokage office. Tōka added, a little angry and much worried, that Lady Mito had been waiting for quite some time.

Tobirama nodded. "Don't worry, Tōka, he'll be there."

Tōka curled her lips into a scowl. "How do you know for sure? Lady Mito waits."

"I know. He will."

Tobirama had turned his back to her and as the door slammed shut, he sighed. Out of his window he could see the stone carving of his brother's face on the Hokage rock. Tobirama does not know why this is still an impending shock to him, didn't he always know?

He had leaned against the wall and stares back at his brother's face set in stone, shadows and light dancing from the streets of Konohagakure. He had know what he had seen. Following his brother and Madara after the festivities of the wedding as Mito was escorted to the Senju compounds. He had shrugged Sasuke off and followed them, hoping to see what exactly he and Madara had to discuss this late, and besides, it was not that Tobirama trusted Madara anyhow. 

They had made way to the Hokage mountain, obviously a favourite spot of the two and Tobirama had patiently waited for their moment to be over, both of them standing on the edge of the mountain and staring at their village. It was fine. It was fine, but then Hashirama spoke, his voice straining.

"Madara..."

"Senju," He growls in answer, "I don't know what your game is but-"

"There is no game Madara. I have shown you my guts long before. This is no game."

There is bitter laughter. "Don't play with me, Senju. Your bride awaits you, right at this very moment and you-"

"I love you, Madara. I have never been this sure of anything."

"Stop it." It is a threat. A weak one, such that is one with no hope, the kind where there is a kunai pressed to your neck. It is the kind when it is something he cannot evade, even if he wished to. Tobirama recognizes this with a start.

"I thought maybe-maybe I could let go of this. That maybe, since you never-" A sharp breath. "But there can be nobody who can replace my love for you. I will not hold it against and you and I never will, but just once, just once."

There are sounds of a muffle, a gasp and the howl of wind at the cliff of the Hokage mountain.

Then there is a sound of submission, acceptance. A single sigh.

"Hashirama…"

And Tobirama, like the fool he was ran back, blood pounding in his ears. He decided he wanted to forget this. Tobirama decided he would go to Sasuke's party after all. He decided he would indulge in a cup or two of sake. Tobirama got distracted, he got out of hand last so he looks up and wipes his mouth, closes his eyes.

 

-

 

Tobirama pays a quick visit to the Konoha hospital and gets rid of the damn headache, the medical nin is gentle and sweet, but good at her work, nervous at treating the Hokage’s brother _of course_. Civilians and medical-nin congratulate him on his brother's marriage to the Uzumaki heiress and Tobirama manages to respond neutrally. They stop him in his way, wave and whoop and cheer. His heart hurts, his head hurts.

At breakfast he does not see Mito or Hashirama. As per routine, he grudgingly makes way to the Hokage office. He knows he cannot avoid Hashirama forever, even if he wishes to. Hashirama with his Hokage hat and flowing robes, scraping away diligently at a document, Hashirama who does not comment at how he bites out news from the Kazekage, how he slams the papers on his desk, how he doesn't his rather, lack of surprise.

"Tobirama are you okay?" Hashirama looks up from a scroll, there is concern in his eyes. He remembers last night, he remembers Hashirama’s words to Madara and feels fury bubble in his bones, but he answers calmly, instead.

"Yes, Hashirama. I am fine."

"I see." Hashirama says, almost amused. Tobirama stares at Hashirama as he shifts through the documents, he realizes how he had missed all the signs.

Hashirama never objecting to Madara. To willing to end his life to win Madara's trust. How Hashirama always seemed distracted with Madara around. How Hashirama had never shown even shown slight interest in women. There were so many signs and yet, Tobirama chose to ignore them. He wonders how long it had been going on, how long Hashirama had put himself bare to the most cruel man alive.

"How is Lady Mito?" Tobirama asks quietly.

Hashirama is busy examining the contents of the document "Hm. She is well." 

The silence is awkward, it is exhausting but then Hashirama looks up. His brother seems older, suddenly as he tiredly says his name, "Tobirama," there is a rustle of sheets and the sweep of the Hokage robes as Hashirama rises. "I know that you tailed me after the wedding. After I, uh, met Madara at the Hokage mountain, I sensed you."

Tobirama does not question this.

"Tobirama, I know what you think…"

"Perhaps, brother," Tobirama interjects. "You do. But my opinion doesn't matter, does it? Just remember this, I will not forgive you for this injustice to Lady Mito. I will not forgive you for this injustice to yourself. He is a monster, he will burn what you are and then burn the ashes. He does not deserve- he does not deserve you."

With that, he turns and leaves the Hokage office. Leaving behind words which did nothing but to hurt his brother, he knows.

 

-

 

A long week passes, and Tobirama sees more of Mito than he does of Hashirama. Over tea, they engage in conversations, sometimes he finds her outside, studying seals and Tobirama often stays behind to study them with her. She is a kind woman. She talks to him for lengths and Tobirama never minds.

The slant of sunlight makes her dark purple eyes look like rare amethysts and the dab of red lip paint on her lips, matching with red hair, resembles a sweet shade of cerise. Her words are gentle yet, with a deeper gravity behind them. Whenever she mentions Hashirama, it is nothing but a soft notice of kindness and his love for his people. Then, as if she catches herself, she stops and changes topic.

Tobirama realizes that she is indeed, very beautiful. Both in apparent and hidden. And that she is falling for his brother and it breaks his heart that she will never be loved back.

He does remind himself more than often although, Mito is his brother's wife. And one conversation, in particular, strikes him the most.

"Tobirama-sama?" Mito had said one time, staring at the descending sun.

"Yes." He watches her as her slender wrist twists as she bunches up her fingers. 

"Hokage-sama has not yet touched me like as a husband does a wife." She notices softly and turns to him, "Has he ever mentioned to you, why?"

Tobirama starts, he looks down and then up at the sky again. He’s so angry, angrier than he ever was, and yet...

"He has not." Tobirama answers quietly. He had not, but Tobirama does know why.

She does not answer and he thinks, before she bids him goodbye, there is a wet glaze in her eyes that speaks volumes.

 

 

-

 

Mito had brushed the collar of his shirt back, with all the care of a ninja and the gentle of a woman.

Her eyes were soft as they lingered over it. Almost understanding. She drew back, settled down into the warmth of the futon. She had gazed at Hashirama, through half-lidded eyes, for the longest time. Watching the steady rise of his strong chest. His dark lashes brushing the pane of his upper cheeks. His long, brown hair trailing behind him like a curtain of dark silk.

His hand was thrown, casually, over a pillow, pressed closed to him. Mito had, hesitantly, rested her hand on his and saw how pale and frail her own hand was against the smooth, brown skin, all muscles and rugged bones and sinew, of his. She felt the drum of heartbeat and most of all, how her fingers gently grazed his lovely thick skin.

It was then she felt the pain of it. Truly and deeply. It settled in her bones.

Mito would stare at her hand on his for hours, until morning breaks and Konoha comes to life and Hashirama stirs. It is hard to sleep, it is hard to think, when she knows she has lost even before she begun.

All she sees, all she feels, all she knows, is the crescent love bite on the little tender spot between his neck and shoulder blade. The dark blue of the bruise. The possession and fierceness of it. And many others, teasing nibbles following it down.

It was etched into her memory like scratch to stone, she knew.

 

-

 

A week and half into her marriage and she knows that relishing and spreading rumors is a favorite pastime of the servants and handmaids in the Senju compound. But what if, those rumors are just truth shroud in ignorance?

"Isn't Hokage-sama spending too much time with that Uchiha…"

"I've heard…"

"Poor Lady Mito…"

"…horrible…barbarous…absolutely…"

Mito does not wish for breakfast that morning.

 

-

 

"Tobirama-sama?"

Mito's heartbeat was a little too loud as she remembered the name, Uchiha Madara and the bruised love bites, her eyes burned and she decided that she will not look at her husband's younger brother. Had she not learned the time her mother had called her to herself and pressed her to her chest, and told her how much this would hurt? 

"Yes." His voice was a deep, melancholy gravel. It had a note of weariness and concern to it, like everything Tobirama did, and Mito saw that he, even though being such a different man from his brother, did not lack in the same gentle kindness as Hashirama’s, just in a different way.

"Hokage-sama has not yet touched me as a husband does a wife." She said finally, "Has he ever mentioned to you, why?"

Mito turned to him then. The white of his hair caught sunlight and shone and she thinks he looks much younger and boyish without the forehead and cheek protector he wears. His jaw is tight as he denies, "He has not."but she recognized how unsure he was and felt her heart thump louder in her ears.

She knew that he saw her as a man did a woman, in a sense which she thought no one did. She had seen how his usually stoic gaze, marveled at her open hair and how he almost shyly, complimented her on her eyes. How, she has even seen the jump in his eyes when her hand brushed over his in an attempt to seek an ink brush.

What injustice, she had thought bitterly, that both of them sought something so utterly out of reach.

Most of the time, Hashirama did not come at nights. It was no longer a strange occurrence for her and she did not question him. But that particular night he did come, earlier than he ever did, in his Hokage robes, smelling of a dusty tomb, and his manners, finicky and conscious. He smiled half-heartedly at her and kissed her hand, like he always did. Mito felt raw panic, something was very wrong. As Mito left the room, she saw him staring into space and vaguely mutter,

"What dream?"

 

-

 

Sarutobi Hiruzen accompanies her when she visits the streets of Konoha, even when Mito protested that she could, surely take care of her herself. But it is not that entirely, so Mito isn't offended.

"Tobirama-sensei insisted, my lady! And he also said…" He paused. Tilted the umbrella he held up for Mito as he scratched his head. "Ah! He was also, very upset that he could not visit you today, he says he's sorry."

Mito paused at a dango stall and asked, "Would you like one Hiruzen? I tried them with Tobirama-sama, and these are absolutely delicious, excellent quality. Also, I think it may be getting too dark for shade?" She looked the evening sky and then smiled at the young ninja.

He blushed then, "N-no Lady Mito, thank you for offering. I mean the dango, not the umbrella. I mean. Um. I think so too, uh…" He awkwardly puts it away and grins, still blushing.

"It's no problem." She smiled warmly at him and then, as she proceeds to fish out money as she tells him, "And tell Tobirama-sama that…I thank him dearly for his concern."

"Yes! M'lady of course!" He said and pumped his chest. Mito laughed and started to ask him about what _more_ did Tobirama-sensei say when she is interrupted by a girl running up to them, yelling, "Hiruzen! Hiruzen!"

"Forgive me, Lady Mito." He smiled sweetly before turning and yelling in such a tone which made Mito blink, "What the hell do you want now, Koharu, damn it?!"

Koharu is a young kunoichi, Mito could see the leaf forehead protector gleaming under the streetlight. Koharu scowled at him, her pretty dark eyes narrowing and Hiruzen takes a tiny step towards Mito. She immediately turns to Mito and bows.

"I'm sorry for this, Lady Mito." She bowed deeply, again and quickly added, "But I must take Hiruzen with me for urgent business, if you do not mind…"

"Of course not." Mito nodded towards Hiruzen who shakes his head adamant, and mutters, "Tobirama-sensei will not like me leaving Lady Mito alone when he personally requested me to-"

"It is urgent, Hiruzen!" Koharu shot him a pointed glare. Hiruzen looked like he could argue further but Mito gently urges him. He’s a sweet young man, he is.

"Go, Hiruzen dear. I will be going back to the Senju compounds shortly, anyway. Don't you worry." Mito patted his shoulder and he blushes a deeper shade of red.

"Y-yes, Lady Mito. " He bowed and once, he walks to an appropriate distance with Koharu. She is talking to him and his expressions changing to something anxious, scared, anticipating.

Mito watches them retreat, her smile morphing curving into a frown. She wastes no time and ducks into an alley. "Bunshin no Jutsu" she mutters and the hand signs are quick. A second later Mito walks to the direction of the Senju compound, smiling brightly, clutching a bag of sweet smelling dango.

A second Mito leaps over a building, her expression impassive as she leaps towards Hiruzen and Koharu.

The real Mito waits in the alley for a calm moment, she’s hardly ever wrong about this, she is deeply disappointed in herself how she waited this long. This long. She smoothes her kimono one last time, takes a stable breath. 

She slips away, when she is sure no one is watching and makes way to the Konoha woods, where she should have long been.

 

-

 

"Koharu...do you mean…"

"Yes. Hokage-sama and Madara-sama are nowhere to be found. It was reported by the Uchihas that Madara-sama had left the village. Hokage-sama, now has disappeared approximately twenty-four hours immediately after Madara-sama. Kagami-kun has told me tell you to bring Sasuke-sama to the Senju compounds. If any other village knew how two of the strongest ninja of the Leaf were at battle with each other…"

Kuharu didn't know how to finish. Mito knew very well what exactly she meant.

"Where…?" Hiruzen stutters.

"We don't know. Sensory ninjas are on it."

That's all Mito needs to know. As the teens walk away, Mito mutters a grim, "Release." And the Henge no Jutsu is undone. The first Mito vanishes with a 'poof'.

 

-

 

"Hello." The first Mito pleasantly greets her Senju handmaidens as she steps into her room. "I would like to take a nap, my head slightly hurts. Please take care to not disturb me, yes?"

"Of course, Lady Mito." The first one bows lightly as she exits, followed with three others.

Mito smiles good-naturely at each of them as they close the door behind them. Mito crouches down to her futon and snugs a pillow roughly under the blanket. Then she blows out the lamps, one by one.

In the dark, a soft, "Release.", is whispered and all is quiet in the blanketing silence.

 

-

 

Mito does not care of how her kimono snags her behind considerably, or how her hair buns are coming undone by the low branches and angry tears are streaming behind as she sprints over branches and into the unknown dark. She only has two kunais, wrapped in heavy cloth, secured in the knot of her obi but then, she also has the strength of her chakra and her seals.

When Hiruzen took Mito to the gates of Kohoha, she felt, a large looming shadow, an evil chakra far yet alarmingly near. It was so powerful, Mito took a step back, her eyes wide and shining in surprise. She knew, that she was not just any sensory ninja, she had the power to sniff out deep, powerful negative energy which was sensed by no dojutsu or sensory type in the ninja world. And this was- that was-

Hiruzen had been alarmed, jumping in front of her, and she had to assure him repeatedly, that it was just the size of the forest that had staggered her, Uzushiogakure had steep hills and little rivers, she explained, no such forests. He seemed to settle on it, thankfully.

As they left, Mito knew, that something the likes of this, was nothing to ignore. She had promised herself that she would tell Hashirama immediately what threat lurked outside the village. It was possible that it was a tailed… _no_ , she had thought. She better not make silly assumptions. Hashirama would certainly take care of it.

But now.

She knew exactly what was happening. A tailed beast could be controlled by seals of her clan or… strong dojutsu. The Sharingan. And if Hashirama had disappeared, it could only mean-

Uchiha Madara.

Mito was close by. She could smell blood, already.

 

-

 

Mito knew she could never forget that sight, as long as she lived.

The wall of water, crashed angrily, roared behind them. The breeze was restless and howled. There was blood, there was carnage, there was fire and wood. But in the center of it all, in the center of her husband's whole universe, she knew, was him and Madara Uchiha.

A long sword, gleaming angrily in the light of the half lidded moon, gutted out from the Uchihas' back. Blood, slick and a dark red, dripped into the clear water through the clean gash. His Sharingan was no more, just half-lidded dark eyes, a handsome mouth which drooped tiredly and long black unruly hair, matted in blood and dirt.

And her husband, the shodai Hokage, the god of Shinobi, Senju Hashirama, wept. His beautiful dark eyes brought steady tears, he sobbed, he broke down.

Hashirama held Madara. He held Madara's dying body close to his, his face buried in Madara's hair, his body wracking with sobs and the sword, a painful reminder of what he had done to his beloved, jutting out from Madara's back, a cruel oxymoron to the gentle embrace.

Mito watched from a branch as Hashirama kissed Madara's entire face, he said things, pointless ones, crying like a child. Madara smiled, full of dry humor, and whispered something back, something drowned by the waterfalls, blood gushing through his mouth.

Hashirama closed his eyes for a moment, resting his forehead close to Madara's. He said a single word, reached for the sword and pulled it out and the world seemed to pause. Mito swayed on the soles of her feet as she watched the demon of war, her husband's beloved his eyes widen, then Madara shuddered and dropped, like a rag doll, face first into the water.

Hashirama fell to his knees, his chest still wracking with sobs, he held him up before he could sink into the river, dragged him to the banks. Hashirama swiped his hand over Madara's demonic eyes. Mito watched as they closed. Mito watched as Hashirama staggered back up, and away, not looking back once, the sword dragging behind him, Madara's blood making patterns on the wet sand.

_I am witness to your love Hashirama. I am witness to this love._

Mito stepped back into the shadows, her pulse being one to the roar of the waterfall, as she felt the larger, darker energy blurring behind her eyes barely contained by Hashirama’s weakened wood jutsu.

_I am witness._

 

-

 

Tobirama dreamt about Mito, and she was laughing and her skin glistened and she was perfect in everyway. There was a small pond, a green tree and red kites. That’s all he remembers when he is awaken by alarmed, loud voices. It is Kagami, there is Sasuke too.

“Tobi!” Sasuke roars, and Tobirama immediately rises, a headache climbing up his temples.

“Come in!”

When they do, Kagami’s eyes are blazing with the infamous red of the Sharingan, and Sasuke is visibly distressed. They are dressed for battle.

“What..?”

“Tobi,” Sasuke begins, “Hashirama and Madara have battled at the Valley of the End.”

Tobirama’s eyes widen, he curses loud enough for Kagami to flinch.

 

-

 

"They are close by. There is a…tailed beast bound by Hashirama's jutsu. Hashirama is far west, Itsuki, look into it. There seems to be no sign of Madara."

Tobirama suddenly opens his eyes, jerking back, lifting his index and middle finger from the ground. Kagami watches, grim. Sasuke signals Hyuga Itsuki, Hiruzen and a medical nin to hurry in the direction of Hashirama.

"What else have you sensed, Tobirama?" Sasuke's voice is grave. Tobirama shakes his head, then answers weakly.

"Lady Mito is advancing rapidly towards the tailed beast."

 

-

 

Tobirama, as he tails Mito, keeps on recalling her large shining eyes, like pebbles on the bottom of a clear pond. A shade such, that thin rice paper soaked repeatedly in violet dye, could not compare to that purple. The cascade of red hair. A bronze pin. The ruffle of a kimono and the lingering scent of smoke and ink. She had been so happy in his dream.

He would not allow it. He would not allow Uzumaki Mito to become a vessel for the beast of hatred, wind whistles past him and he hears the gentle thumps indicating that Kagami and Sasuke are right behind him, that he will stop her.

He will find her.

 

-

 

"Mito!"

And she whips her head back at him, red hair flying, and she just smiles.

"Mito, please, no!" Tobirama is begging, he knows he cannot approach her. Kagami and Sasuke stand by, mute and stiff but looking up at the abomination before them. The tailed beast roars, the nine tails, an orange fox of sheer power, and it reverberates through their bones. Thye watch as Mito brings her gentle hand down and one, two, three,four, five six, seven, eight, nine, sealing gates drop from the heavens and pin it's nine tails. Another flick of her hand brings a large one, pinning the fox's head. Each boom loud enough for them to feel it in their bones.

They witness the Uzumaki power for the first time. Red angry chains of chakra have burst from Mito's body, a barrier is erected around her, supported by the chains like a red bubble.

"The adamantine sealing chains of the Uzumaki." Sasuke mutters, "They are too powerful, we cannot pass this barrier."

Tobirama ignores this. "Mito! Please!"

She pauses, and turns. The beast roars at her, it's pupils constricting, and Mito doesn't flinch. She is covered in a sickly red aura, her hair have come undone and shadows of chakra chains dance on her gentle features. Her eyes look murky, deadly and dark. The chains almost look like… wings.

"Thank you Tobirama. For caring so much. It is because of you I have survived dreary hours." She smiles almost, teasingly. Her voice sounds like it is from underwater. So far away. "Understand that I choose to do this, Tobirama. For Hashirama. For his love. For mine. For the village. "

She glances at the sky. Raises her hand and lets another gate fall. It constricts the fox's whole body.

"To fill oneself with love. .." She says and smiles softly. "Yes. That is what I will do."

And Tobirama's cries are downed by the roar of the fox and the gentle of Mito's smile.

When the dome of red chains fall and the gates of heaven crumble to a fine dust, Mito collapses.

Tobirama rushes forward, ignoring Sasuke's calls for precaution. Kagami threads silently, red Sharingan flicking, hovering over Tobirama, maybe looking out for him in the little way he can.

"Mito?" He whispers as he pulls her into his arms. There's the smell of singed flesh and as he turns her over slightly he recognizes a seal, on her belly, from where she has torn open the front of her kimono. Her hair look dull, almost brown, spill all over Tobirama's arm, her pretty eyes are closed, soot and dirt smearing her skin almost everywhere.

Tobirama gingerly puts a hand on the, still hot, seal. He jerks his hand back, and glances at a worrisome Kagami.

"Lady Mito is the first ever jinjurikii of the nine tails." He says calmly.

Tobirama nods, feels as if a slice of breath has been lodged in his throat. He has failed his brother. He has failed Mito. He has failed himself.

 

-

 

"Brother?"

Tobirama, sits by his Hashirama's bedside. He blinks again and looks at him. His dark eyes, tiredly gaze at Tobirama, his mouth drooping. Hashirama's chest rises and falls with even breathing, finally. "Brother!" Tobirama feels happy for the first time in the last week, Hashirama is awake.

Hashirama's condition was, bad to put it mildly. Not only had he received fatal wounds and lost a lot of blood, he was hysterical. Kept crying, muttering obscenity which made sense to no one. Had horrible fits of nausea when he was bought back his sword. The Hokage had to be force fed.

"Tobirama." It is his brother's voice that prevents him for calling the medical nin over for another inspection. His voice is scratchy and weary, so unlike his usual thunder and cheerful shouts of joy.

"Yes?" Tobirama sits back down on the dingy stool. He pats his brother's hand awkwardly, he was never the one for affections. But he is more grateful than ever that Hashirama is fine, that his elder brother has survived. He is very grateful.

"Madara…?" Hashirama's voice drops to a whisper, his eyes are glazed over, and he asks as if he wants to cling to hope.

"I’m sorry." Tobirama is gentle in his answer. Madara was the man who had tried to kill his brother. Every blow was fatal. And yet, his brother wakes up after twelve hours and the first thing he asks is about that traitor? Tobirama instincts tells him to not to press.

But where did Madara go? Was his body washed downstream? The doctor attending to Mito, had reported that the moment she regained consciousness she had gasped that Madara was dead. Then...

Tobirama knew he was an able ninja. The only one who could beat up his brother so badly, bring him so close to death. Only Uchiha Madara could do that. But with such fatal wounds, how did he escape? Where did his body go if he was dead. It was very likely that someone had stolen his body to harness his extraordinary eyes. That was the general theory.

Hashirama only nods sligly, shifting his head and sighing a little. Tobirama tries to ignore the dampness at the corner of his brother’s eyes.

"He told me this would hurt." Hashirama shifts a little, swallowing.

Tobrirama's voice hardens as he asks, "What would?"

Two minutes. Five minutes of quiet. A ruffle of Hashirama's blanket. More silence. And then a broken sound,

"Loving him." Hashirama's voice cracks.

Tobirama watches as Hashirama turns his empty eyes to the ceiling. "The fool…" he almost smiles, "Doesn't know he's damned me to hell." He closes his eyes, "Because I always will love him."

 

-

 

Tobirama pauses at Mito's door.

It is a pleasant evening. Should he knock? She's probably resting or outside or- or should he call her out, it's probably not appropriate…

"Tobirama-sama?"

Tobirama turns around and says slowly. "Hello, Mito."

She's returning from the gardens, he thinks, there is a leaf stuck to her elaborate hair. There are the dull bronze pins. She is cocking her head to a side and smiling. The long sleeves of her white kimono rise as she signals for him to enter, "Please go on, Tobirama-sama, it seems to be that I am particularly stuck at a water style. Perhaps you'd brief me over it and we can have some tea?"

"Ah…of course. Yes." Tobirama makes his resolves and slides the door open., aware fully of how Mito follows him, her feet making no sound at all.

Mito pours him tea while talking rapidly, "Oh, Tobirama-sama I know I'm supposed to concentrate on what I have but I would absolutely love to do something more, yes? I just can't rely on my seals or chakra chains for goodness sake, it's-"

Tobirama smiles. He can hear her talking all day, all night long and would never get tired of it but he is slightly distracted by how Mito's leg brushes his. It never fails to make him utterly speechless and deeply ashamed of himself. Also, isn't there something he wanted to discuss with Mito?

"Mito, please don't call me 'Tobirama-sama', Tobirama is better." He looks at her gently.

"Yes, Tobirama." Mito smiles back and proceeds to tell him of how she needs to acquire new ninjutsu. Tobirama senses the fox's chakra. He pauses in between the sip.

"Mito."

"And I thought-yes?" She looks at him questioningly.

"How are you…adapting to the nine tails?" Tobirama looks her in the eye, concerned. Mito pauses. Then she laughs lightly, "Ah, well." She sets her cup down. "It's an evil, disturbing chakra, that's for sure. I'm okay, I feel very normal, if that's what you're worried about."

"Hm." Tobirama makes no comment and proceeds to drain his cup. There is an awkward silence between them, Tobirama decides to break it and jump straight to the point.

"Mito, what did you see when you reached the Final Valley?"

She does not look at him when she answers, instead her her eyes cast down, pressing her fingers to the table, and making gentle circles.

"I saw… that Hokage loved the late Madara-sama very much. That he had to stain Madara-sama's blood on his hands to protect all of us. You, me, the village. I saw how truly great a man Hokage-sama is. I hope…"

She turns to him. Her eyes calm.

"… that nobody has to go through what Hokage-sama suffered. I saw this too, it is never too late to love. I think Madara-sama realized that. "

Tobirama digests this. She knows? Surely.

"And what about you? Don't you…love Hashirama?" Tobirama feels an indescribable twinge of pain as he says this. He should not, yet he does.

"I do." Mito does not hesitate and Tobirama looks away. "It is impossible not to love such a man."

Tobirama feels a low, ugly sinking feeling in his gut. He knew it all along, and even if he does, why does it matter so much to him anyway? It should not. Tobirama only has the energy to manage a decent, "Good." And he turns to get up, mumbling, "Ah, I'm afraid I have to leave…"

He stands up and it is then he hears Mito saying, "Tobirama?"

He freezes. It is pathetic how a single human has such an influence on him. Absolutely pathetic. What sort of ninja is he, a nin who is supposed to be in check of exactly how they should feel. He checks himself. _He_ is pathetic.

She rises and steps in front of him, her deep eyes searching his face without hiding the intention. He hopes he does not hear the erratic beat of his heart, it will surely give his feelings away. She begins in a low, calm tone before Tobirama starts his apology and starts to make an excuse for his rather uncouth exit.

"I dared to think that after marriage, I could hope for an intimate relationship, one that a wife has with her husband. However, I have come to realize that Hokage-sama is someone that no one can truly embrace. Only Madara-sama, and only him. I know this very well too. Madara-sama can love Hashirama-sama and be loved back so privately and closely. I am foolish to think otherwise." She pauses. Tobirama then notices how there is a deep sadness in her eyes, but also, how the pale of her skin is deepening to a light rose.

"What about you, Tobirama? Is there someone you wish to share the bond Madara-sama and Hokage-sama shared?" Her eyes are wide and curious. Almost innocent as she looks up at him.

Tobirama blinks. His mouth goes dry on guessing the notion behind her telling him such things. He does not feel nervous as he raises his hand and feels her cool cheek in his rough hand. "Mito." He breathes.

She leans in into his touch, lips brushing against the skin of his hand, eyes closed. "Tobirama."

She says as if it is a revelation and Tobirama cannot hold back anymore. His body tingles with desire and a sweet heady hum as he leans in and kisses her. Her warm lips open up under his almost immediately and she starts to kiss him back. Maybe it’s the fear they both have, maybe it’s because they both have lost someone dear to them, maybe because they know it’s nothing, it’s just a balm to their wounds.

That evening, neither of them leave that room. Nor that night, for all that matters.

 

-

 

Tobirama feels a childish joy sort of joy as his shoulder throbs from not moving for a long time, feeling Mito's silky head resting against his bicep. Her hair are longer and silkier than he imagined, fanning around her like a curtain. He fingers some and they slip through his hands like water. She 'mms' in sleep and presses close to him, he feels nervous for the first time. 

But what's to be nervous of anymore? He presses a chaste kiss to Mito's forehead, right on the little purple rhombus before he rises.

Tobirama eases his arm out from under her head, replacing it immediately with his pillow. He rises, feeling his clammy, just as naked skin, cool and content against the night's air. It would be dawn soon. He needs to go.

He scans the dimly lit room for his clothes. As he dresses up, he almost starts to feel embarrassed over how they made love, for kami's sake. Then he tightens his resolve. No, he will do it. He searches for a piece of paper. He curses as he spills ink over an edge and proceed to scribble a message.

"It is you, Mito.”

He thinks it wise not to sign off, she will know. 

 

-

 

Tobirama does not see Mito the other day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that. Hashirama tells him during a late dinner that she has gone to visit her family in her village. Tobirama nods and proceeds to gulp down his soup, scalding his throat in the process, as if he does not quite care.

 

-

 

He sees the flashing red of Mito's hair, before anything else.

"Mito?" Tobirama calls out, hesitantly. He had been studying a document in the dimly lit space of his room. It was dark, almost midnight. What was Mito doing here,and at this hour?

He tentatively presses his index and middle finger down on the floorboards. It is Mito. Rising, he calls out, again, "Mito?"

She appears, like a ghost, standing outside the open sliding doors of his room. Her face looks paler than usual, the shadows caused by the lamp's light making her features larger and loom and she looks sick, in a strange malnutritioned transparency. Her hair are not styled in the usual manner, but tumbling down. She is not wearing her usual kimono as well, but a mustard colored shirt and plain white pants.

Tobirama stands perfectly still, not trusting himself to speak. She raises her hand and wipes her cheek. He realizes she had been crying.

"Tobirama, I-" She stops. When she does not continue, Tobirama walks to her, reaches forward, grabbing her hand and pulling her inside. He then, scans the corridor. There is no one.

Closing the sliding doors, he faces her.

"What it is, Mito?" Has she regretted what happened that evening? What? Tobirama's mind wanders to the note he scribbled. He swallows bitterness and prepares to handle it with dignity.

There is an uncomfortable moment of silence, then,

"Tobirama," Mito takes his hand, yanking him close and rests the palm of his hand on her lower belly. When he looks up at her, questioning, she urges, "Feel."

Tobirama is confused but he concentrates nevertheless. There is a flash, something gentler than the chakra of Mito’s and no way is it the dark chakra of the nine tails. He opens his eyes, not quite feeling anything but the hand on Mito's belly. "You are-"

"I am pregnant. With your child, Tobirama." She says, with strange serenity in her voice. Tobirama let's his hand drop. She continues, "I have told Hokage-sama that you are the father. He has not touched me yet, you should know very well. You are the only one to ever-" She breaks. "The point is, Hokage-sama asked you to see him and he urged me to tell you the news right away. Also, I will not get rid of this child. Is is every bit as mine as it is yours. I don't want you to argue with me on this-"

"I agree." Tobirama's throat constricts with an emotion he had never really experienced before. An overly sweet buzz, pride, humility, and mostly, he feels immensely grateful that it is Mito. She always will be. "We will keep our child. I would never want-" He stops. 

"Well. Looks like we are going to be parents." Her smile is tentative and Tobirama has to look away.

She then reaches, kissing him squarely on his lips. He barely has time to kiss her back when she pulls back, her eyes, relaxed.

Tobirama stands still as she exits, shutting the door.

 

He'd not be a father to the baby at all. His child will call his big brother, theyre father. And the decision comes to Tobirama as natural as it is loving Mito.

 

-

 

Hashirama faces the setting sun, the breeze on the Hokage rock fluttering past his hair. The village which was built on dreams, hopes, and wishes of two children scared of losing their loved ones now, stretches before them.

Tobirama watches him before he says, as a way of announcing he is here, "I am sorry brother. I am deeply ashamed." He stops and waits.

Hashirama turns, and he is smiling. "What is there to be sorry for, Tobirama?" He asks, gentle.

"Brother, Mito is your wife."

There is heavy silence. Tobirama stares at his brother. Hashirama wears a black kimono. His dark eyes are kind, as always, only now, he carries a wisp of sadness with him.

"You love Mito, Tobirama. And she seems quite content with carrying your child, she is happier than I have ever seen her. All ends there. You love her. That is all what matters."

Hashirama continues, "What the real issue is, how I must separate from Mito, surely there is no way I can now remain with her. This marriage has brought Mito nothing but pain, she and your child needs to be with you."

"Brother," Tobirama takes a deep breath, "You must not separate from Mito. The Uzumaki will never bear this insult. This is in the best interest for Mito and the village. I will never allow it. I also want the child to not know that I am the father, The child will grow up as you being his or her father and Mito the mother, of course."

Hashirama frowns, "What are you saying, Tobirama? You are the father of this child. How can you possibly do this to Mito and to yourself?"

Tobirama looks over at the sunset. A deep red streaks the skies, as red as the silk of Mito's hair, as red as Madara's one tomoe Sharingan, spinning at the riverbank many moons ago and as red as Itama's blood staining Hashirama's young face.

"I know what I am saying brother. Mito will understand. I am the father, therefore I will do what is in best interest of my child."

Hashirama just turns back to the village, facing it. Tobirama walks tentatively to him, and rests his hand on Hashirama's shoulder.

"Very, well, Tobirama." As if an afterthought, he looks up at the sky, his eyes damp. "If Madara were here, what would he say? _Idiot Senju, let his woman be knocked up by his brother. Bah!_ " Hashirama laughs, not quite feeling it, Tobirama watches pained. How much more must his brother go through?

"I'm sorry." What does Tobirama actually means by this apology, he does not know. But his brother who has wished for nothing for others to love and to love himself, unconditionally and fiercely, chip away like ashes to wind.

Hashirama just shakes his head, "What is there to be sorry for? You are never to be sorry for love."

Together the two brothers watch evening settle upon Konoha, draped over like a dark blanket. Tobirama understands then, that there will always be always pain, there will be always mourn and suffering. But you cannot regret another day. You cannot regret another chance. You simply, cannot regret love.

 

-

 

The boy had red eyes, skin as pallid as Mito's and a tuft of spiky chocolate brown hair, a common one amongst the Senju.

He came crying and thrashing into the world, made a noise for the first time when he felt Mito's trembling lips kiss his tiny face, all over when Lady Uzumaki held him in front of her. Again and again. The first person to hold the babe was Mito's mother, Lady Uzumaki. She was there to make sure the seal did not weaken so as considerably that the horrid fox escaped, and also, most of all, for her daughter.

Lady Uzumaki had, immediately, tried to hand the babe to Hashirama-sama who, shoved his brother in front of him and walked with quick steps to a very spent Mito, claiming she needed immediate attention from his hand. Of course, Lady Uzumaki understood, as she handed the little boy wrapped in white cloth to Tobirama. Mito was his wife but why would he not want to hold his firstborn, first?

Lady Uzumaki dismissed the question when she saw the way Hokage-sama's brother hold his nephew. Cradling him close to his chest, smiling like he didn't mean to, but meant to anyway. Lady Uzumaki was very touched when Tobirama murmured, "He's beautiful. My boy."

"Indeed." Lady Uzumaki touched his arm gently, smiling and turned to Mito and Hokage-sama.

"What will his name be, Hokage-sama? Mito, dear?"

Hashirama nodded, smiling a little, saying gently, "Itama. Senju Itama."

"It's perfect." Mito smiled too,to everyone else she was very happy but Lady Uzumaki could clearly see her smile was not quite reaching her eyes. Mito is looking at Tobirama and her son with … wilted eyes.

Before Lady Uzumaki further inspect this, Tobirama shakes her out of her train of thought by saying, "Lady Uzumaki, Itama is crying, I don't know what to-"

"Yes, yes. He's hungry." Senju Toka says impatiently, adding, "Men." The medical-nin and sealing core start chuckling to Tobirama's helplessness and when Lady Uzumaki glances at Mito again, she is looking away.

Toka has plucked Itama from Tobirama's arms, and is handing him to Mito. Then she turns to Tobirama again, she sees that he is walking out, wiping his eyes.

 

-

 

Itama is two year old.

Mito whispers things to him when she feeds him, rocks him to sleep, soothes him in one of his tantrums.

She tells him how, when he creases his pretty red eyes, he looks just like his father. His father is a brilliant man, she tells him, he loves him very, very, very much, she tells him. She tells Itama, that his father has lovely ash white hair and these funny sort of, she laughs, red stripes on his face. It doesn't matter, he is still very handsome, she assures him.

Mito tells him all she knows about Tobirama.

But he is just a baby. He does not remember, he never will and Mito sometimes, allows herself to cry for her son and his father.

 

-

 

Itama is six.

He boasts about how awesome his kaa-san is all the time. His friends are interested in otou-san however, "No, tell us about Hokage-sama."

Itama then, does not know quite how to reply. Itama loves father very much, but he hardly sees him. He ruffles his hair at breakfast and lets him wear his Hokage hat. But other than that…

Once, he tells them, otou-san told him a story. He could not sleep and he did not want to disturb kaa-san so he went to the kitchen to get milk and he saw otou-san sitting in the dark, drinking something white and sharp smelling.

Father immediately cleared the little glass away and asked him in his kind voice, why he was awake at such an hour. Itama was, to be completely honest, a little frightened by how hoarse father's voice sounded. So he answered honestly.

"Aha. You see, Itama, I couldn't sleep either. Come to me, son."

Itama chewed nervously on his lower lip, and made way to his father. Father picked him his up, his eyes were dark and warm as always and Itama relaxed as he settled Itama on his lap. He smelled sour, not a very unpleasant scent but a one that made Itama’s eyes water.

"Why couldn't you sleep, tou-san?" Itama's voice hushed, pulling his father's long straight hair ever so slightly.

"I'll tell you all about it Itama, but you must promise me something first." His voice dropped dramatically, "You must not tell your mother."

Itama giggled, "Yes, father. I promise I won't!"

"Good enough." His father was smiling, he could feel it. "This is about a great man. I…admired him very much. He was the only one who could best me in a fight, Itama, he was such a warrior." This was no boast, this was fact.

"Wow." His father. He had heard how he was the god of all shinobi, the one who created this village from nothing. "Who is he, father? Can I meet him?"

"He died before you were born. He died many years ago, on this date." His father's voice dropped, he did not continue. Itama turned, looked up at tou-san. "Tou-san?" He reached up and touched his face gently, it was wet, but maybe he was imagining it.

Father smiled a little and kissed his little hand. He then continued, his voice ringing with tenderness and mourn all at the same time.

"His name was Uchiha Madara."

 

-

 

Itama is thirteen years old.

At the end of his training, Tobirama gave him a piece of paper. Itama looked up, confused. "Let your chakra flow into it. Gently." He explained as he proceeded to take his cheek protectors off. And so he did, concentrated, and the paper grew damp between his fingers. He looked up at Tobirama. He had a half-smirk on his face, "Ah, water nature like mine."

"Come on! I wanted to have something cool like fire nature!" Itama scrunched up his nose, and he knew it was a mistake when Tobirama's voice hardens, "Water nature puts out your 'cool' fire nature in a flash."

"Sorry," He mumbled. Then, "Can we go out for dango afterward?"

Like everytime, Tobirama looked at him with his red eyes, just like Itama's as if saying, 'what should I do with this boy?' and nodded, grudgingly.

Itama smiled from ear to ear and Tobirama just patted him on his shoulder, telling him to hurry up as he walked in the front.

"You're the best!" He would say, running to him, panting and breathless.

Tobirama would grunt, as in disapproval, even though Itama could clearly see he was smiling ever so slightly.

"Aw, dont be angry now, oji-san" Itama teases, nudging him with his elbows. He paused, a thought occurring to him. "You and mother are the only ones who don't treat me as the 'honorable' son."

"Even Toka?" Tobirama asked, amused.

Itama swallowed, "Nu-uh. Okay. Not her either." And he laughs.

Itama thinks, as he watches Tobirama wrinkle his nose at the overly sweet dango but eats it anyway because Itama loves it so, he's the greatest man he's ever known.

 

-

 

Itama is seventeen.

He is in love and kaa-san is the first one to know.

"She is such a pretty girl!" Mother gushes to Toka-san, "And you should see how red Itama goes when she-"

"Mother, please." Itama says blushing, as he hides his face in his hands at Toka's smug expression. And mother just tsks and asks, "What's her name again?" He mumbles "Chiyo-chan." and kaa-san reaches forward, kissing him on the cheek. "Yes! Chiyo! Such a lovely name, no Toka-chan?"

"Yes, yes, Lady Mito." Then Toka points at Itama, "Bring her here sometimes. I'd like to see the brat."

"T-Toka-san!" He protests. He tries to say something when kaa-san interrupts him. "Oh she has the loveliest blond hair and prettiest brown eyes. She's training to be a medical-nin, right Itama?"

"Yes, mother."

Mito and Toka giggle like schoolgirls, two of the deadliest kunoichis in all of Konoha and all Itama can do is agree with Tobirama oji-san that no matter how skilled a nin one may be, one cannot figure out women.

 

-

 

Itama is twenty six.

He kisses Chiyo gently on the lips, sealing their bond as husband and wife. Sasuke-sama starts sniffing, crushing his son, Hiruzen in a bear hug. Kaa-san, grandmother and the other Uzumaki woman cheer the loudest. Chiyo's mother looks frightened as Toka and Koharu congratulates her, and Chiyo's brother looks like he's swallowed a toad when Kagami-san tells him that the Senju are a fanatic lot, although he adds, as an afterthought, they don't make the bride and groom shoot fireballs into the sky like some Uchihas he know.

Father couldn't make it to his wedding, he was called to an emergency kage summit in the land of wind. Itama didn't mind, not really.

"You're a man now." Tobirama observes, almost proudly, as Itama hands him a glass of sake. Itama just grins.

"Did I ever tell you you're the best, oji-san?" There's no tease in his voice, but genuine emotion.

"Oh, yes." He takes a sip, smirking at him, then, "Many times, my boy."

At the end of the night, Itama sees that kaa-san, looking lovely in a scarlet kimono and Tobirama oji-san in his plain white kimono dance, almost shyly.

-

 

Itama is twenty eight.

Chiyo gives birth to their daughter, Tsunade. Itama has never known more joy than this, he thinks, as he stares at the pink little thing in his arms. Tsunade looks just like her mother, but takes after the Senju in her features. A tuft of blonde air, lovely brown eyes. Itama smiles.

"Mother, father. Tsunade." Itama has bought Tsunade to the Senju compound, and he has never seen his father show as much excitement, as he does by holding her. "Tsuna! My little princess Tsuna." His father coos and kaa-san smiles, adding, "I feel so old. Now my baby has a baby."

Otou-san laughs, "Mito, we _are_ old."

Tsunade gurgles in delight again, as she gazes at her grandfather. Otou-san's eyes soften and to Itama's utter surprise, he reaches for his necklace, yanking it from his neck, pressing it onto the bundle of her blanket.

"This is yours from now on, Tsuna."

"Father, but-"

"I wish to, son."

Kaa-san nods at him, "Your father wishes to, Itama." Itama feels like he cannot breath when his daughter takes the light green stone between her gums and blubbers in joy. Just then, the door opens, and comes in Tobirama. "Itama, I heard-"

"Brother! Take a look at your grand-niece." Otou-san stands, handing Tsunade to Tobirama.

She lasts barely a minute in his arms when she starts to cry bloody murder. She doesn't quiet when otou-san holds her, neither Itama. But when kaa-san holds her, rocking her fast, she quiets down. For a moment everyone holds their breaths, not wanting to set her off again.

Kaa-san breaks the tension, saying, "She's a Senju alright."

 

-

 

Itama is thirty when Nowaki is born.

He is a father of two beautiful children, the woman he loves is his beloved wife, he is the son of the Uzumaki princess and the God of Shinobi. Otou-san named Tobirama oji-san as the next Hokage, Nindaime, after him. Everything is well.

Until it isn't.

Itama is thirty four when Otou-san goes missing.

 

-

 

The fire county is searched, he is nowhere. Beyond the borders, beyond them, on the seas. Nin, trackers, kaa-san and oji-san themselves. Nowhere. Some say he vanished from the surface of earth. Some say the Uchiha ghost haunts him. Madara Uchiha, Madara Uchiha, has he not heard this name before?

Itama does not know what to make of this. He is sad, angry, worried sick, helpless all at once.

The Hokage is not recovered.

Itama is forty when he receives mortally fatal wounds from an enemy in the land of rain.

He is bought to Konoha but it is far too late, and all he has are hours at best. Chiyo cries until she has no tears left to shed, Itama tells her in a rasping breath that he loves her, she is beautiful, kind, strong. Nowaki does not know, he is too young. Tsunade saw her father once and screamed for someone to heal him, bring him back, but she can do nothing and nor can the medical nin. When Itama tells her that she must promise to take care of her mother and Nowaki after him, she cries and promises him, telling him that she knows he will come to her, laughing like he always did. She locks herself in her room until her Itama's last breath.

At the end, Mito hold his hand like a lifeline. Tobirama oji-san stands by her, his eyes damp. Itama tells Tobirama, "T-Thank y-you." Tobirama grips the bedside until his knuckles turn white, and Itama continues, "Y-You w-were always the b-best, o-" He coughs blood, his heart failing him. Mito is crying now, kissing his face. "Son, my son. I am proud of you." She says, and then, "Itama, we both love you. We both love you very much and you my son-" She covers her mouth with her hands, shaking her head, as if denying.

They stay with him until dawn, when his breath gives out, he remembers. He remembers and he knows. 

His last words were to Tobirama and Mito, were,

"I-I k-know. K-kaa-san, otou-san."

 

-

 

_It is a curse her long life, her Uzumaki bloodline. Toka passed away a week ago, the only woman who had warmed Mito at her hard hours. They had been friends before, lovers then : pressing flowers into her hair and kissing her slow. Maybe nothing will ever be right but for now, Mito knows her time is near too. It is truly cruel to live longer than the ones you love._

_And then one day, there is a little redheaded girl waiting at her bedside, crying._

_"What is your name, child?" Mito asks, soothing._

_"Uzumaki K-Kushina."_

_Mito just smiles gently, pulling her up, calming her, telling her that she is there for her, that there is nothing horrible in this tailed beast business, she will survive. That things will be good again._

_"H-How Lady M-Mito?"_

_Mito tells her something she has told her son, her grandchildren, her late husband, Tobirama, Touka too. She tells her something her kaa-san told her such a long time ago, and yet she misunderstood but that was fine, you have to learn and see it, your way._

_"Fill yourself with love, child."_


End file.
